Expectations You May Want to Discuss.  Bottoms and Tops have needs, wants and boundaries. Both players can use this list to communicate in an email or conversation either in person or on the phone.  It’s hard to do! If you want to play you have to be clear. You can also write a story or find a picture that tells what you like.

There is a long list of choices below but not all them are part of SCONY protocols.  Check the rules before attending a party.

by Ms. Margaret Davis

*Denotes old-fashioned domestic spanking vs a bdsm approach.

Styles of Spanking

  • Playful  (SCONY parties)

  • Punishment/Discipline (SCONY parties)

  • Maintenance/Prevention (SCONY parties)

  • Sensuous

  • Erotic

  • Percussion

  • No delay just spank

  • Impact play

For an explanation of these different types of spanking, read Ms. Margaret’s article, Different Styles of Spanking.


* scissors hold
* bent over a chair, desk, bed, sofa, pool table
* tummy down on a bed
* holding ankles
*all fours
vs. suspended
vs. stocks
vs. bondage


* private, group, public
* serious delivery or a more jovial setting
* dressed or nude participants
* street clothes

vs. nude
vs. lingerie
vs. leather

vs. master, slave. “S.A.M.”
vs. two equals with equal “power”

* repeated rhythmic striking (or tapping)
vs. less striking more rubbing & touching
vs. various sensations

* scolding phrases
* humorous
vs. erotic words and commands

* reason (punishment)
* no reason (maintenance)
* playful interaction
* tactile pleasure (sensuous)
*sexual touches (erotic)

* chastisement & embarrassment
* relaxation
vs. total humiliation

*”for your own good”
vs. “for my/our pleasure”
vs. embarrassing, “forced” feminization
vs. pleasurable cross-dressing


** pouting
**compliance, humble silence
**laughing, joking, pleasurable moans


* hand
* paddle (wood, leather)
* belt
* hairbrush
* wooden spoon
* slipper
* ruler
* cane
* tawse
* birch
* strap
* switch
vs. whip/riding crop
vs. cat o’ nine tails
vs. martinet/flogger

The Ritual


  • spanking for very real offenses or role-play
  • playful/lighthearted spanking, sometimes public
  • privacy, serious atmosphere, serious spanking
  • forewarning, fearful anticipation
  • sent to a room to wait, corner time
  • having to ask for the spanking
  • being told to present the implement
  • scolding, explanation beforehand
  • addressing someone as “sir” or “ma’am” during this time
  • having pants removed or being told to remove them
  • being told to assume a position or being placed in position
  • cuddle time afterwards or isolation (e.g., being sent to bed)
  • closure and forgiveness