What This Site Is Really About: Play vs. Abuse
I try to help people avoid walking into abusive relationships. Those of us who acknowledge a certain amount of pleasure with submission long to be "taken" or "dealt with." When you're young or inexperienced, a "take charge" partner is hot. However, a few years into the relationship you realize something isn't right and then it's too late. Abuse and consensual play are two different things.
In a perfect world the dominance would occur naturally without negotiating boundaries, limits or safety. The fact is this is not a perfect world, and certain things have to be discussed. There has to be consent, either within the scene or within the context of the total relationship.
The difference between Dominance/Submission Play & Abuse
D&S: A D&S scene is a controlled situation.
A: Abuse is an out-of-control situation.
D&S: Negotiation occurs before a D/S scene to determine what will and
will not happen in that scene.
A: One person determines what will happen.
D&S: Knowledgeable consent is given to the scene by all parties.
A: No consent is asked for or given.
D&S: The bottom has a safe word that allows him/her to stop the scene
at any time for physical or emotional reasons.
A: The person being abused cannot stop what is happening.
D&S: Everyone involved in the D/S scene is concerned about the needs,
desires and limits of the others.
A: No concern is given to the needs, desires and limits of the abused person.
D&S: The people in the D/S scene are careful to be sure they are not impaired
by alcohol or drug use during the scene.
A: Alcohol and drugs are often used before an episode of abuse.
D&S: After a D/S scene the people involved feel good.
A: After an episode of abuse the people involved feel bad.
Ready for the Next Step?
1. Read SCONY's protocols to see if your head space works within our boundaries.
2. Come join us for our chats Mon – Thu, 9:30 pm EST.
3. Check out our Calendar of Events and make plans to attend a monthly party in Manhattan or our biannual Weekend in the Mountains, featuring St. Margaret's Academy.
4. Check out our HUGE collection of free spanking clips from movies, TV shows, cartoons, pro wrestling matches, and even slide shows of comic strips with spanking. You can also view clips of real punishments from around the world, such as judicial punishments and corporal punishment in schools. With more than 100 to choose from, you could stay for hours.
5. Find hundreds of items in our Amazon store, such as implements, pajamas, school girl accessories, books, and more! Lowest prices, secure checkout, and free shipping for most orders.
