A Guide for Newbies

by Ms. Margaret Davis

Are you new to spanking? Or have you resigned yourself to always wonder what it would be like to spank or be spanked and yet never experience it for yourself? With all of the digital advances we enjoy today, it is possible to emerge in the scene safely and slowly, dipping your big toe in the water before stepping out and actually attending an event.

With helping newbies in mind, I’ve come up with a guide to provide a road map that has helped many in your position explore their fantasies in increments that feel less threatening than just showing up at a spanking party with no prior preparation.

1. Read my article, Advice for Newbies to Spanking. I provide guidelines for newbies in how to carefully guard their privacy and anonymity. These guidelines were born from years of experience helping new people emerge safely. I also address basic, common-sense suggestions to keep yourself safe if you choose to “play” with other spankos outside the context of a SCONY party.

2. Read my article, What This Site Is Really About: Play vs. Abuse. There is a big difference between consensual spanking play and abuse. In this article I outline those differences, so you will be able to quickly identify tactics that can lead to abuse (such as tops who forbid any negotiation before a scene or the use of safe words).

3. Get to know others with the same interest in traditional spanking with our online chat group and forum. Our chat group meets Mon–Thu at 9:30 pm. And we have two message boards you can check out to see what others are saying. The chats are fun and friendly and provide a great context to develop friendships. Those who attend the chats tend to have an easier time at other events because people have gotten to know you and vice versa. Learn more about how you join the fun of both our chat group and our forums.

4. Read another newbie’s account of her first spanking party with the article, Loved It, Loved It: One Woman’s Account of Her First Spanking Party.

5. Attend a party or our Spanking Weekend in the Mountains. The biannual weekend party is a great opportunity for newbies to experiment at a pace of their choosing because time is on your side. A good time is had by all (especially those who got to know others ahead of time by joining our chats), regardless of how slowly you step out. And I go out of my way to provide lots of activities that maximize attendees’ opportunity to get to know other and play, including SCONY’s signature St. Margaret’s Academy.

6. Very important: Before attending a SCONY function, including chat, it is mandatory that you read out SCONY protocols. For one, it will help you find out if your head space works within the parameters our group adheres to at SCONY-sponsored parties. We are not an S&M group and, therefore, do not allow activities that swing S&M. Better to know that before showing up at a party in leather or with a whip in tow. Reading these will also save you the embarrassment of saying things at a party or chat that are frowned upon at SCONY or could creep others out.